Hey Reader,

Happy Saturday!

Yesterday was my grandfather's 90th birthday and we're celebrating today, which for a variety of reasons means I'm hitting your inbox a few hours later than normal. I'm thinking about interviewing him and recording it for our family's oral history. Hit reply with any great questions you've asked your elders and enjoyed hearing the answer to.
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Speaking of interviews, my interview with neuroscientist and author Anne-Laure Le Cunff has gotten great reviews. The #1 thing I think you'll benefit from is Anne-Laure's take on the value of making informed leaps of faith and handling moments of uncertainty. Click the image to tune in:

If you prefer to only get emails about the podcast, click this link and I’ll exclude you from the Saturday newsletter going forward. The link is automagic so don't worry when it just takes you to the podcast site.​
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Let’s get to it.

A quote to make you think from a book worth reading
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“To really identify with somebody and have compassionate empathy for them is to identify pain in others -- the same pain that you've felt even though it might not have the same causes. [...] To really know pain in other people is to know yourself in them.”

-Brandon Stanton
as quoted by Polina Marinova Pompliano in Hidden Genius​

I'll be recording an interview with Polina this week and will look forward to sharing it with you soon!

Three links to encourage deep thought and breakthrough growth

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1 Two Emotional Failure Modes: Reactivity and Paralysis Amy Buechler | Read time: 8min

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“It is a failure mode not to listen to your emotions. And it’s a failure mode to always rely on your ability to think through problems - that will always only get you so far, because your startup will keep making you feel feelings. It’s still really normal for founders to think that emotions need to be ‘managed away’ so we can get to the clean, rational logic and make a decision. Let those founders fail."

There are two things I see most often in coaching sessions with founders: interpersonal and intrapersonal conflict. The first comes from emotions not being processed at the relational level. The second comes from emotions not being processed at the individual level.

Learning to fully process the emotional waves of building a company is one of the most critical acts of leadership for a founder. Processing the emotion means you can stop white knuckling the experience and start making better decisions. (The same applies to life outside of your company.)

Questions to consider as you read: When is the last time you felt out of sync with yourself or your team? How do you know you were out of sync -- what were the signs? What emotions were beneath the surface that needed to be processed?

2 How to Scale Yourself Down by First Round Review about James Everingham | Read time: 22min
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“Joining an early-stage startup means that resources are scarce, process is non-existent, and goals shift by the day. And tried-and-true playbooks will only go so far, as what works in a big company doesn’t always easily port over to a small startup setting. So while leaders might have proven they can run large organizations, it’s not a sure bet that they can revert back to running a small one.”
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As a founder with a scaling company, hiring experienced executives can be a cheat code for getting the help you need to reach your goals. So why is it sometimes a disaster to bring in a seasoned exec from a well known company?

This deep dive into what it takes to "scale down" from operating at a large company to working in an early stage startup is an excellent view on why it can be so hard (and what it takes to succeed)

Question to consider as you read: If you're considering joining a startup after a run at one or more large companies, what mindset and strategic shifts will you need to make to be successful? If you're considering hiring an experienced exec, how can you filter for people who can make the shift (back) to a small company?

3 Friendship as Soulcraft by Matt Dinan | Read time: 9min

“I’ve never been on a podcast with someone who didn’t want me to be there and didn’t want everyone to have a good time. It’s in everybody’s interest that it all goes well. [...] So here are some tips for newbies.”
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It might be surprising to learn that becoming a founder of a company can be a lonely path. There is the stereotypical loneliness of leadership, but there is also something deeper.

Forging your own path means focusing intently on your goals and serving the people you hire to work for you. That can easily become a myopia that causes much else in life to fall by the wayside -- especially friendship.

This is written from a perspective of being a guy approaching middle age, but still represents a beautiful take on why friendship is worth pursuing at any age.
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Complement with CS Lewis on The Inner Ring (18min). This lecture from 1944 at King's College is one of the best things I've ever read online.

Questions to consider as you read: How many close friends do you have? How many of those are privy to your inner emotional experience? What inner ring are you knowingly or unknowingly pursuing right now?

A Short Essay Based on My Work with Founders
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One of the hallmarks of leadership is how you handle a conversation that goes something like this...

Slack message from a teammate: "Hey, do you have five minutes?"
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"Sure, give me two," you reply.
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You drop a Zoom link and the teammate hops on.

"[So and so] is so hard to work with. We have a deadline coming up and they're making things difficult. They haven't pulled the metrics we need and seem to be stalling on doing any actual work."

You ask clarifying question. They share more.

This goes on for thirty minutes.

We commonly refer to the many different versions of this as "politics."

Politics at work is what we might call gossip, maneuvering, and manipulation in everyday life. It consists of closed door conversations about people and topics without involving the people who are most relevant to or impacted by those conversations.

And whether your organization is political or not largely depends on what you do in the moment after the colleague above is done telling you their version of the story.

In one magic question, you can diffuse the entire thing and redirect towards organizational health rather than politics:
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​"Did you reach out to me to get clear on what you need to say to [so and so] or would you like me to facilitate the conversation directly?"

In that moment, the person is no longer the victim but an active participant in a relationship with an important colleague deserving of respect. It goes from a conversation behind closed doors to a productive step in addressing conflict directly.

If you abdicate your responsibility to redirect the conversation to the person who should be involved (but is not currently), then you are allowing politicking to take hold in your org. Don't do that.

Take the opportunity to coach your people to do the hard but courageous thing: address conflict directly. It creates more pain in the short term and more traction in the long term.

This essay is my take on a core teaching in Kim Scott's Radical Candor, which I have used to great personal satisfaction and effectiveness in real team environments.

Much love and respect,

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